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  you are here  >>> REACT > advice gURL > friends  
  related topics  >>>  beliefs  |  friends & family  |  health  |  sex    
 

what's advice gURL?

i'm falling for my best friend

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i called my friend 'nasty' for not using a condom.

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i made a comment about barack obama and now my friend thinks i'm racist.

Me and my best friend are in a big fight. She confessed that she was going to have sex with this one guy, and I was happy for her. So I asked her if she needed a condom and she said no. She told me she wasn't going to use one.

So I got mad and sort of told her that was nasty, and now she is all mad at me. Do you think I did anything wrong to try and make her use a condom? She is not on birth control...

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25 member responses

    
    Nasty?
    I think nasty might have been the wrong word. It's not necessarily "nasty" not to use a condom. Adults don't use a condoms--especially when they want to have children. I think you meant for teenagers--it's bad not to use a condom.

Your friend might have taken it the wrong way, as if you were calling her nasty when you just want her to use protection for her own sake.
    --Posted by sweetlove21
    05:50PM EST 09/17/06


    
    Maybe a tad too harsh
    It's not hard to see why your friend is mad at you. You called her nasty and it probably hurt her feelings and made her feel like you had called her a whore. Maybe your choice of words was a tad too harsh.

Not using a condom isn't necessarily nasty, but it is irresponsible and unsafe. The girl is not on birth control and she doesn't plan to use a condom? If I were you I would have suggested she get her head checked because babies don't just fall from the sky and an STD will definitely make her think twice about sex.

You were just looking out for her but she took it the wrong way. I think you should apologize for your choice of words and you need to talk to her about keeping herself safe during sex. She needs to listen to someone and you seem to have a good head on your shoulders.
    --Posted by cleopatraxviii
    01:55PM EST 09/17/06


    
    Not the right way
    I think you were pretty harsh to tell her she was nasty. I'm sure you had good intentions and thought about her health, but I think you just went the wrong way with it. First of all, it is not nasty to have sex without a condom... although it can be a bit stupid if you don't do it safely (which your friend doesn't seem to be doing)... i.e. use another birth control method (pill, diaphragm), take an S.T.D test and make sure both partners don't sleep with other people. Not using a condom is a personal choice that can be dangerous if you don't take your precautions. You should try to talk to your friend. Don't attack her and tell her she is stupid or nasty. Get information about safe sex and approch her in a calm way... you'll have a better chance of getting through to her!
    --Posted by asterix
    11:32AM EST 09/17/06

    
    Not nice but thoughtful
    Your comment was mean and rude. If you want to sound like you care try this: tell your friend all the risks she's taking and how she can ruin not only her life, but her family's if she doesn't start using protection. Don't just call her "nasty."
    --Posted by beautifulimage
    09:39AM EST 09/17/06

    
    
    There's nothing wrong with trying to get your friend to use a condom. That was really nice of you. But calling her "nasty" for not wanting to use a condom made everything you were trying to do pointless. It's like trying to help someone and putting them down at the same time. It's not going to help; it will just make her resentful.

Try apologizing to her for calling her nasty and try to explain that you're only worried about her safety. She may understand that you're just worried about her. Even try slipping a condom into her purse and let her know that you want to be there for her.
    --Posted by hislilarmybrat
    06:40AM EST 09/17/06

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